Wednesday, June 10, 2009


3 months, 2 1/2 months, 2 weeks, 1 week, 5 days, 4 days, 3 days.... 3 DAYS till I leave! Wow! I am a bucket of emotion right now! I am so excited beyond words.. but I am so nervous. I am sad, torn, giddy, scared, happy, nervous, excited, timid, worried. Once I get there I hope all my emotions boil down to one thing, Ready! Ready to work my hardest to please God. Ready to serve as much as my body will allow. Ready to hold those precious babies in my arms. Ready to give my heart and soul to these people for 6 weeks! I am praying that my nervous will decease. God is my provider and He will protect me. He has helped me this far and so I'm positive he will help me this leg of the race.

Monday, June 8, 2009

End of year ceremony!

Friday night was a great night! I got all dressed up and went to my school for the annual end of year ceremony! Every year there is one but usually I hate going and they are so boring! But this year it was different. I mean yes, I hated to get up on stage and recite all the stuff we had to memorize. But other then that it was the best one yet! Me and Carrie laughed so hard about random things throughout it, I got pictures with all my friends, I got to hug my teacher whom I probably never see again, and I got to have an overall great night! I will miss everyone so much over the summer. I just pray that when I get back all my friendships will still remain with all my best friends. I leave in 7 days!! I am extremely nervous and excited! I love change and hate it! I love new places and meeting new people. But I'm scared to leave and everything changes at home, or that something will go wrong. I just need to keep my head straight and not listen to Satan as he will try to frighten me. I have gotten most of my shopping done for the trip! Which is a huge burden taken off of me! Now I am just relaxing and taking deep breaths as I get ready for a CRAZY week ahead of me!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Beginnings and Endings

Endings to me are the hardest things. I love beginnings when I choose them, but those always come with an end that I didn't choose. Why can't all the beginnings come with an end i love? Because for that to happen it would have to be the worst beginning.
August 25 rolled around. BEGINNING of school. I struggled with girl problems and boy problems. I found my true friends and my worst enemies. I finally found who I am as a person. I loved school. I hated school. How could I feel two complete different things about the same subject? I will never be able to describe the feelings of hurt or love that I have experienced this year.
June 3rd came. ENDING of school. How can I hate the beginning of school and the end of it? I miss those who I will probably never see again. I am torn into picking a school for next year. I want everything to just go back to how it was. The drama sucked. But I always had something to talk about because of it. The boys were jerks. But I always went back to them. Grades dropped. But somehow I still got a great report card.
You see, my mind is a big mash of all sorts of mixed feelings. I feel like someone mashed my head into thousands of pieces and they all somehow relate. Only I can navigate around the beginnings and endings in my head.