The brother I never got to meet...

Twenty years ago a young, frail girl walked into a building to put to rest the shame of a mistake. She walked in broken expecting to walk out healed. Instead walked out even more broken than before. One mistake led to two which led to being haunted the rest of her life. She would always be known for "that girl" when the category of abortion was brought up.
The girl drove home ashamed of her actions and thinking about ending her life. "I have killed the one thing I should be proud of. So why shouldn't I kill the one thing thats left...me." Thoughts like this were going through her clogged brain. Her eyes too dry to let tears slip out. Her face too white to show her true emotions.
She never forgot about it. Yet, has been healed.

I love you big brother. I think of you often. I can't wait to embrace your hug in heaven.

Cruise :)

Last weekend I went on the trip of a lifetime. My mom got invited to speak on a cruise along with Karen Kingsbury, Angela Thomas, Renee Swope, and many more awesome people.
Holly, my mom, and I all flew down to Ft. Lauderdale Florida on wednesday afternoon. We gathered our luggage and headed to our hotel where we would be staying the night. That next day we all boarded the boat and set sail.
I have to say living on a boat for a weekend is pretty weird. I got sea sick once. But thankfully it was not bad at all. Our boat took us to The Key Islands on friday and Cozumel Mexico on Saturday. Mexico was by far my favorite day. We got to ride horses on the beach and lay out next to the most clear, and gorgeous, blue water I have ever seen.
Coming home was a bit overwhelming after being in Paradise for 6 days.
My mom and I are already planning our next cruise :)

Embarrassed

Last week I was staying at Hillary's house with Hillary and Kenz. Kenz and I were staying there to help Hillary the next morning because she was getting her wisdom teeth taken out. The next morning Hill gets home and is all drugged up. She is totally not herself. Holly (her mom) took her straight to the couch to sit and relax. Kenz and I cooked a huge breakfast for everyone since Holly was busy helping Hill. All of the sudden I felt very dizzy and disconnected from everything that was happening. The next moment I was on the floor and Kenz is slapping me to wake me up. Apparently I passed out and no one could get me to wake up. I was out for 2 minutes!
I still don't know what really caused me to pass out. But everyone thinks its because I was thinking too much about someone who has hurt me really bad. I wish I could say this wasn't true but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I'm embarrassed that someone can make me that sick to pass out. I had the same feeling last night and was really scared that I was going to pass out again. I had to take off work because of it. I need to shake this person off and not let this person effect me in this way. Every time I feel that way I am now just going to pray for that person and pray that this will never happen again.

Shopping.

Shopping is the one thing in life that will recharge me. I love it and can't ever get enough. When it comes to bills I dread paying them. Every dollar is like a baby when it comes to something I don't want to pay for. When it comes to shopping I have NO problem at all to spend every single one of those precious dollars. It has become a serious problem when I'm supposed to be saving money. Good thing I make pretty good money with my job at Chick-fil-a and babysitting :) I honestly love having a job now that I have one. Before getting one I ran from the opportunities to make money. Now its just something I love. I have made some awesome friends working. And we always talk about all the crazy things we get to buy now that we actually have our own money. It also is so helpful to not depend on my parents so much. I will ask for money every once in a while. But nowhere near as much as I used to. So basically this is my life in a nutshell:
Money comes in.... I go to the mall.... more money comes in.... I go to the mall again :)
Maybe I should restrict myself from going to the mall. Once a month. Man, that will be so hard!

Camp-of-the-Woods '10

Everyone says New-York is so magical and alive. They are so right. I LOVE NY!
My family and the Good family all packed up and flew out to Albany NY on Friday. I had a LONG day Friday because we woke up at 4:30 am to pick my sisters up from camp. And I didn't get to sleep till 2:30 am the next day! Thats 22 hours straight of being awake and traveling. I never once had time to close my eyes. Jet lag to the extreme :)
When then stayed that Friday night in a hotel and had to wake up at 7 to catch a ride up to Camp-of-the-Woods. That was about a 2 hour drive. So after ALLLL of the traveling we ARIVED!
So far it has been a blast. Meeting lots of cool people and enjoying the nice weather. The high has been high 70's and in the night it drops down to 40's! Talk about PERFECT weather.
This is one of those places I have always loved growing up going to and I look forward to raising my kids by coming every summer. I met this one couple that played in the band here when they were 15... and they were in their 90's!!! Truly amazing.
My dad rented a boat for the week so we have been doing lots of tubbing. There is also a HUGE gym with tons of games that we have been enjoying. But I would have to say my favorite place is called the TeePee. It where you can go and get all kinds of candy and ice-cream. I have been getting the twist soft serve. By far my favorite.
So this is pretty much life at Camp-of-the-Woods. My favorite place to vacation and has been for 8 years.

Boys....

I think the title pretty much sums up this post. I them 'em and hate 'em. Buttt.... there is this one guy in particular. I really like him. Like he is the perfect guy. Gorgeous, tall, muscular, christian, and his dad even owns a chick-fil-a :)
The only little problem (okay huge problem) is that he has a freakin girlfriend. This pretty much is the story of my life. I don't know how I can keep talking to him without liking him more and more. He is a flirt and totally knows how to make my day. His girlfriend in my opinion is not the right fit for him. And I'm not even saying I am... but I know he could do better than her. The only song that keeps coming to my head is "You belong to me" by Taylor Swift. And these three lines keep popping in my head...

"If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me"

Tons of "only if's" keep going through my brain. Like "only if i was prettier", "only if i was as skinny as she is", or even "only if i was her". And I know God is hurt by all these thoughts. I should never wish of hope for something I'm not and never will be. I'm not his girlfriend and may never be. But by wishing I was skinnier or prettier is not going to help the problem. Running back to God is the only was I will ever be able to conquer this.

I'M BACK!

I have taken a break from blogging and realized I have missed it so much! So much has happened in my life since my last post. Some friends have slipped from my grip but it was all for the better. I have gained so many more friends from my new job! I now am employed at Chick-fil-A at Wesley Chapel. I absolutely love it there! You may be wondering why I'm not working for my dad at the arboretum.. well I just decided this would be a better fit for me. Since then I have been making money and been crazy busy. But its good for me. I am trusting God with everything now. He knows whats going to happen in my future and me worrying about everything isn't helping. I have realized girls are so emotional and dramatic. I have tried to stay out of as much drama as possible.
Let me make a list of what all has happened in my life recently:
1. I have become best friends with girls I disliked a year ago.
2. I'm tan cause... ITS SUMMER!!!
3. I'm officially DONE with sophomore year! :)
4. But.. JUNIOR year here i come.
5. Mark graduated.
6. Mitch came home!
7. I had a blast in Florida last week.
8. Im now a shopping addict.
9. I leave for NEW-YORK tomorrow!!! I am supper excited.
10. I need to go get ready for work :)
So thats pretty much it. I will now blog more often cause after all... I LOVE IT!